Woman Is Accused of Being ‘Heartless’ After Kicking Out ‘Jobless’ Friend Whose Short Visit Turned into Weeks-Long Stay

“My apartment is tiny and I never signed up to be someone’s indefinite crash pad,” the woman wrote on Reddit.

• A 24-year-old woman shared on Reddit that her friend and former college roommate asked to come stay with her for a few days to “clear her head” after losing her job and getting “dumped” by her boyfriend
• Those few days turned into several weeks, and the Redditor found herself increasingly frustrated by the situation, especially as her friend frequently disrupted her workdays and didn’t contribute anything
• She ended up asking her friend to leave, but was accused of being “heartless” and leaving her “with nowhere to go”

A woman’s offer to let a friend, who is going through “a rough patch,” stay a few days in her apartment turned into much more than she bargained for.

The 24-year-old woman detailed the dilemma in a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, beginning by explaining that the friend is her former college roommate whom she’s known for six years. After they graduated, the friend moved across the country and the two mostly kept in touch on social media.

Last month, the friend messaged the OP (original poster) and said she was having a tough time after losing her job and getting “dumped” by her boyfriend. She asked if she could come visit for a few days to “clear her head,” and the OP immediately said yes.

As it turned out, however, those few days turned into a much longer stay — three weeks, to be exact — and the OP grew increasingly frustrated by the situation.

“She’s been sleeping on my couch, eating my food, using my stuff, and not contributing ANYTHING. I work from home and she’s constantly interrupting my workday with her drama,” the OP complained. “When I suggested maybe it’s time to look for a ticket home, she burst into tears, saying she has nowhere to go and I’m her ‘only support system.’ “

The OP went on to share that she hit her breaking point the day prior, when she had an important video meeting for work and her friend decided to start “blasting music and FaceTiming someone” in the living room.

“My boss definitely heard, and I was mortified,” she wrote. “That night, I finally snapped and told her she needed to leave by the end of the week. I even offered to help buy her plane ticket.”

But the OP’s friend did not take the news of her “eviction” well.

“She called me heartless and said a real friend would support her ‘no matter what.’ She’s been posting vague stuff on social media about ‘finding out who your true friends are during hard times,’ ” she wrote.

The OP admitted that she feels “guilty because she is going through a lot,” but said she is also “exhausted from the constant emotional labor and lack of boundaries.”

“My apartment is tiny and I never signed up to be someone’s indefinite crash pad and therapist,” she added, concluding her post by asking fellow Redditors, “AITA [am I the a——] for kicking out my friend when she’s down on her luck?”

The post garnered more than 100 comments, with many agreeing that the OP is not in the wrong.

“This is a common story. Couch-surfing friend rides the goodwill wave as long as they can [and] then moves on to the next friend,” one person wrote. “If they’re serious about getting back on their feet, they’ll be applying for jobs and housing, helping around the house, or if nothing else trying to process their feelings so they can move on. If not, they’re a bum, and you have to give them the boot the minute they inconvenience you. It seems harsh, but it’s necessary to prevent them from sinking any further.”

Others felt the friend was “taking advantage” of the OP’s kindness.

” ‘A few days to clear her head.’ That’s what you agreed to — NOT three weeks! Your friend sounds like she’s using you and has no respect for your boundaries. She’s emotionally manipulating you into letting her stay longer,” one reader wrote.

Someone else joked: “You know what they say, ‘Visitors are like fish, great when they’re fresh but after 3 days they start to stink.’ “